Anyone who has met their twin flame knows that people who have not experienced this specific connection generally do not understand its magnitude or the unusual challenges partners face.
Our friends try to help us, but in reality they do the opposite. His advice, while well-intentioned, is often misguided and, frankly, wrong.
Those who are not intuitive, spiritually aware or empathetic or who have not personally experienced a relationship on this level have no idea how these relationships are different from the ‘norm’.
These ties are strong, personal, and unique. It’s impossible to say that all twin relationships follow the same pattern, it doesn’t. However, many of them share something in common. One or both, after a period of recognition and outward expression of love, develop very bad behavior. She may have heard the word “runner.” This refers to the couple who, after the initial period of bliss and devotion, abruptly changes their behavior and becomes distant or leaves altogether.
When something so shocking to the soul happens, we lose our emotional balance. The partner (typically female, but not always) who has been ‘abandoned’ by their partner must find their way… and figure out what happened. So we look for our friends. But they don’t understand. They say “oh…he must be seeing someone else” or “forget him/her. They’re not worth it.”
I was able to make a comparison, and it’s not exactly correct, but it’s the closest thing I can think of to help describe this to someone who (1) hasn’t experienced it or (2) can’t feel it. energetically through intuitive/empathic abilities.
If you’ve ever been a parent (or any adult who is in daily contact with and loves a child), you know what it feels like to be around unconditional love. Possibly even real unconditional love. I have raised two sons and a daughter. Eleven years of single parenting gives me the authority to speak on this subject: eventually that loving child turns into a donkey. It’s part of growing up, maturing, finding your independence and deciding how you fit into this world. A parent is the safe person around him, so the average kid will misbehave at home, even if he’s near perfect at school, at other people’s houses, and on their sports teams. No matter how awesome your kid is as a human being, there’s a good chance he’s going to be a real poop at one point or another.
Remember how your child climbed into your lap and wanted nothing more than to snuggle with you, kiss you, play with your hair…just be with you. That amazing human being told you that he loved you twenty times a day! That kid wanted you to come to every football game, baseball game, basketball game, and school event. His love for you shined out and yours to them.
Then one day they hate you. Usually it is shortly after they stop showering.
The mom or dad who used to be a reliable source of information is now stupid.
The teen reaches a point where he probably won’t talk to you or yell at you. My personal favorite, the look of shame. Instead of yelling at you, they hunch their shoulders and lower their head and shake it from side to side so you REALLY know how pathetic you are.
But you love them. You love them because you know them. Whether you have given birth to them physically or not, you have seen them grow, develop, you know them in their essence. You know them better than anyone, because you’ve known them from the beginning. You love them deeply and authentically because you know the “real” ones and you know they are not perfect, but they are your amazing children, flaws and all.
You know, when they get to this sickening period, it’s just that. It is a behavioral phase. When they misbehave, when they don’t talk to you, when it seems like they don’t need you, it’s not their authentic self. It is them finding their way to what they are becoming. They trust you and know that you will be there for them. They just have to choose you, To choose you, they must be ready.
Sometimes they will not say that they love you during this period. That would make them drown. But they love you. They always have, the bond is unbreakable.
I remember telling my middle son when he was at his worst, “I’ll always love you, but I don’t like you AT ALL right now!”
Sometimes your child’s behavior is so egregious that you, the non-misbehaver, have a choice to make.
The same thing happens with twin flame relationships when the behavior of the ‘running twin’ is simply no longer acceptable to the ‘awakened twin’. Once the awakened twin knows for certain that it is a ‘loop’…that when the runner leaves they have never really left and will always come back, there is a level of comfort. Where after the first few cycles there could have been doubt, fear, worry that you would never see them again, now there is trust.
When the cycle has been repeated enough times, you know without a doubt what your bond is based on and that it is impossible to break. Just like with your son.
What I think happens with many is that the ‘awakened’ twin gets exhausted with the whole thing. Just like it’s hard to keep a family together when one person keeps testing your energy (the upset and angry teenager), something has to change. You may decide to draw the line and tell that teen (or twin flame) that while you love them and always will, her behavior is not acceptable.
Every family, every relationship is different. There is no right answer, it will be personal and unique to your situation.
With a Twin Flame who professes their love and maybe even recognizes the depth of the connection, but chooses (even if they don’t understand why they do it) bad behavior, you may decide to walk away for a while, to give them some distance to give find out and be clear that love is not the only thing that matters when we are in human form. Behavior is also an important part of a successful relationship. Those who know their twin will feel that behavioral choices stem mainly from fear. Fear of taking risks and failing, fear and confusion about the intensity of what they are experiencing with you, etc. Fear is a topic for another day, but the source of the bad behavior is real and the twin feels it deeply, even if the “awakened” twin thinks it’s ridiculous. While the Twin-Flames bond can never be broken, the behavior is a choice and can be changed.
If the person you love dearly is your child, and that child you know at soul level as the most wonderful human being, is making bad decisions… would your friends tell you that “he/she is dating another mother”? They would say “why are you bothering with him/her? They’re not worth it, forget it. Find someone else.”