How long do you carry the past with you? Do you still remember your first fight with your spouse every time you have a misunderstanding? Do you still remember the penalty kick your son’s friend missed that cost your team the football game 10 years ago? Are you still smoking with your ex five years after he eloped with another man? Are you living attached to your past negative experiences? Here are 3 ways you can detach yourself from your past negative experiences and thrive.
The first way to distance yourself from your past negative experiences is to avoid repeating your past painful experiences. While it is important to learn from your past experience, making yourself suffer for years over a past experience is your doing. You have to do certain things to keep feeling bad about experiences that happened years ago. It’s definitely a skill, but not a productive one.
When you spend time playing a negative experience over and over in your mind, you take away time and energy that could have been used to plan ahead and take action to reach your goals. For example, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds and keep it off, but now you’ve acquired a taste for your friend’s ethnic food, don’t keep blaming him for his inability to lose weight. Why? You have to take responsibility for the choices and decisions you make today. You have to remember that the more mental energy you give to the past, the more it impacts the rest of your life.
The second way to let go of negative past experiences is to create new memories. An effective way to unseat old memories is to create new memories. If you want to get over your ex, find someone new who is fabulous and stunning in spirit and truth. Focus on self mastery and relentless improvement. Look at each new interaction as an opportunity to learn and grow. Do not be quick to condemn and dismiss others. Use the present to create new memories that are so strong and positive that they override the negative memories.
The third way is to make plans for the future. Have something exciting ahead of you that keeps you from looking back. You can’t drive your car looking in the rearview mirror. A great future can be the best medicine for a messy past. Do you have a practical weekly plan to turn your dreams and goals into reality? If you don’t, develop one and stick with it. You also need to be mindful to avoid daily distractions and focus on making the most of the present moment. This is part of the process of self mastery and relentless improvement and empowerment.