Are you waiting for your Boaz? If you don’t know who Boaz is, it’s a character from the Book of Ruth in the Bible. Boaz was a wealthy landowner. He noticed a foreigner named Ruth, took an interest in her, and immediately began to protect her. He found favor in her because of her goodness and godly qualities. She instructed her male servants not to lay hands on her and treat her like a queen. He knew she was the woman for him when he first saw her. Today, many Christian women compare their qualities with those of the man they want in a husband; a man who will care for, protect and treat them like queens.
Whether you haven’t met him yet or think you have, but are technically still single, you may often wonder “where is he?” or “when is he going to ask me to marry him?” Simply based on our feelings of readiness, we put all the blame on him.
I want to make a suggestion that maybe God has chosen this man for us and that this chosen King will come when the Queen is really ready. Just because we’re tired of the single life, we feel like we’re ready to sit down, we’re in love, or we’ve met the man of our dreams doesn’t mean we’re ready for the purpose God wants us to accomplish as a couple. for his chosen Boaz. We need to be open and ready to receive this emotionally healthy man so that we have something to offer. Here are some things to consider while you wait for your future husband to arrive:
# 1 Stop blaming him for not being able to satisfy your need to get married just because you feel like you’re ready! Everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason you are waiting is because you are not as ready as you think.
# 2 Dig deep. Take a look at yourself and ask if there is anything you can work on to become the best you can offer. Is there a childhood problem that haunts you or is holding you back? Are there secrets you’ve never talked about that have negatively shaped you into what you are today? Did you pick up a couple of undesirable traits from your parents that you wish you hadn’t? What about past relationships that you still have resentment or shame about? Now is the time to reflect and face the demons or excess baggage you carry. Try counseling or therapy and prayer to help you talk about it. This will not be easy, but God is watching and sometimes He will not allow you to move on because He needs you to let go of some things from your past. These things can get in the way of the role He needs you to play alongside your husband and your purpose. Your marriage stalemate may not be Boaz’s fault at all. Your future husband will need a helping partner, not a patient.
# 3 Have you ever heard the lyrics to Erykah Badu’s song “Bag Lady”? STOP RIGHT NOW and YouTube. It is quite deep and the message is clear. The lady with the bag portrayed in the song does not carry a physical baggage, but an emotional one. She says: “Lady of the bag, you are going to miss the bus, you can not hurry, because you have too many things”, “one day, he will say that he is filling my space”. The lyrics elude the fact that carrying too much luggage will slow down the progress of life, delay the establishment of successful relationships. It can interfere in a current relationship, creating doubts in your partner that there is enough space for him along with your emotional baggage. Take this time to wait, reflect, and challenge yourself to learn more about yourself and face the difficult things BEFORE you join your man in marriage.
# 4 It doesn’t have to be that deep. If reviewing your findings they say you don’t have an emotional challenge, but Boaz isn’t here yet, take the time to check off some items on your wish list. Get out of your comfort zone and be amazed at what you thought you could never do. Experience something new, discover new things.
# 5 Last but not least, volunteer! Many times, when you stop focusing on what you don’t have and turn to helping others, God will begin to respond to your needs (that’s how I met my husband).
My point is, if you take the focus off him and invest it in you, NOTHING, but hey, he can get out of it. One of three things will happen.
# 1 You will be distracted from the waiting period and the next thing you know is that your Boaz has arrived.
# 2 Learn more about yourself; Your confidence level skyrockets and improves your chances of being noticed by the man of your dreams.
# 3 After making all these improvements, you may find that the guy you were waiting for is not the Boaz you thought he was and that he deserves better. There is definitely nothing wrong with that!