Do you want him to commit but have no idea why he’s resisting? If you knew what some of their worries were, do you think you could find a way to overcome them? What if you just aren’t ready? Should you hold on or move on? Before you can learn how to get a man to commit, you need to understand why men resist in the first place.
Talking about commitment produces fear and anxiety in both men and women. Men tend to feel pressured by the subject, and women fear the possibility that he doesn’t want a commitment or isn’t ready at the moment. To really understand men and commitment, it’s important to be aware of what commitment symbolizes for a man versus what it symbolizes for a woman.
Woman and Commitment
For most women, commitment is almost always seen as a very positive thing. This is probably due in part to how you were raised and how society influenced you to think about commitment. In most cases, it symbolizes love, security and companionship. Even highly independent women crave the emotional security of knowing they are loved and cared for. Commitment helps alleviate the fear of abandonment that is all too pervasive in a disposable society where things and people are easily discarded.
Men and Commitment
Men, on the other hand, have been conditioned to associate themselves with more negative symbolism. In a man’s mind, commitment means loss of freedom, added expense, pressure and stress, and a lifetime of demands and expectations that he may not be able to meet. Men also fear the boredom that is often associated with commitment.
It is not surprising that these two very different points of view collide and create a conflict between men and women. But for you, success depends on two things:
o Have realistic expectations based on reality and not fantasy
o Overcome objections and negative expectations in a man’s mind.
Set realistic expectations for yourself
Recognize that you largely control the direction and outcome of your life. Take responsibility for creating your own happiness instead of waiting for the right person to come along and create it for you. Love has a much better chance of succeeding when two whole and happy people come together than when an emotionally broken person looks for someone to fix them or fill an unmet emotional need.
Overcoming your objections
You want to show him a very different image than the one he has in his head. And for a man, this is done better through actions than words. Show a man that committing to you will be far different and far better than anything he ever imagined.
First, you want him to see you as a whole person on your own. This means cultivating and maintaining positive relationships and interests outside of your romantic relationship.
Second, you want him to see you as a partner. This means you don’t drain him emotionally or financially. Avoid the princess mentality. Instead, show him that you’re capable of going all out when the going gets tough. When a man loves you, he will treat you like a princess because he wants it, not because you demand it.
Third, she wants him to see her as a safe haven from the world around him by being the woman who can relax him and distract him from the pressures around him.
Fourth, you want him to see you as exciting. She often finds little ways to surprise him. Tell her something she’s not expecting, she plans a surprise getaway, leaves a note where she’ll find her later, and initiates intimacy with him.
Creating a sense of mystery and intrigue doesn’t require extravagant gestures. It just takes a little thought.
Getting a man to commit is just a matter of overcoming your preconceived notions about commitment. When
you do this, he will have no reservations.