No, the title does not refer to hotel accommodation! To love without reservation means to love completely, fully, without suspicion or distrust, kindly, compassionately and consciously. So many people fall in love instead of loving, or fall in love with the idea Who do you think is the loved one? That kind of love is so different from Real love that it’s not even a pale comparison. To love consciously is to love with eyes wide open, knowing the faults and weaknesses of the other person and still loving them. To give love fully one must also love oneself in the same way… can you do that? Can you love yourself fully, completely and consciously, knowing all your faults, weaknesses and failures?
Most people have no idea how any of that makes sense, unfortunately. The problem with love is that we all want it so much and yet it is what we are most afraid of. We want the other to give us complete, unconditional and amazing love, but we resist opening our hearts to receive that kind of love. In a stingy way we slowly open the purse of our heart, while it squeaks and releases tiny moths. The moths of doubt, fear of failure, fear of rejection, betrayal, anger, heartache, depression; they don’t go very far. Those moths fly, waiting for the first hint that the heart will allow them to re-enter.
All previous pain that has ever caused your heart ache can be recovered in an instant, as long as the situation even slightly resembles what happened in the past. The person may look nothing like the person who caused the pain in the past, but suddenly they will be treated as the same person. Alas, nothing good comes of such things. Loving honestly is a different matter and involves complete honesty both within and with the other person. Dealing with another truly and with honor takes love to a much deeper level. Only with that degree of depth can true love flourish because it removes any doubt and fear.
Not everyone is ready for such a commitment to the truth, even within himself. Finding one willing to give at that level is so confusing to most people that they run the other way…unless that’s exactly what they’re looking for. When two such people meet, the relationship becomes a truly lasting ship… of love. The only way to prepare for such a deep love is to love oneself deeply: to know the Self so fully and completely that one is ready to share that depth of love with another.
©2010 Dr. Valerie Olmsted All rights reserved