I’m running away I’ve always been on the run. However, I think that running with enthusiasm towards something is much better than running away in fear and, although I keep running unconsciously from dark places, I now practice more consciously running towards the light. What is your experience running away? How often do you consciously practice running toward your goals? To what extent are you living your life on purpose?
While attending a spiritual retreat, I experienced one of those rare moments of true awakening. Despite being intensely goal-driven at times, my awareness of a long-practiced habit of running away from situations increased dramatically during one of the meditation exercises. Suddenly I realized how many important situations I had fled from: I ran away from home; I ran away from the church that was an anchor during my formative years; I ran away from a failed marriage; I ran away from numerous jobs that had gotten boring. Leaving was not always easy, and when I left somewhere, I always headed somewhere else, but all too often for no other purpose than to get away from a bad situation.
Our lives are full of transitions. In these tough economic times, many people have lost not only their jobs but their careers as well. You may have experienced the loss of your job, your spouse, someone, or something that was a really important part of you. These losses often mean a loss of identity. When someone asks, “What are you doing?” How do you respond: a former professor, or a former executive, or a former something else? These are times when new identities can emerge. Identities can accidentally arise when circumstances force us to make decisions to generate income or find new friends. But wait. Who do you really want to be? What do you really want to do? This can be a perfect opportunity to discover and pursue your true purpose.
I define purpose as the ‘Big Why’: why you are here, your reason for being alive. My friend and guide Richard Leider, in his book The Power of Purpose, writes: “Purpose is fundamental to human life. Purpose gives us the will to live or persevere. It gives us the reason to get up in the morning. Purpose give us courage “. We all have a purpose, whether we know it or not. Have you discovered your purpose? Can you describe your purpose in ten words or less?
Discovering our purpose is important at any point in our lives, but as we move into the second half of our lives, knowing our purpose becomes more and more important. During the first half of our lives, we focused primarily on building a career, supporting our family, and accumulating assets. Then comes a period when our families become more independent, our careers become less meaningful, and some of our accumulated assets become liabilities. Our attics and garages are filled with put away stuff because it’s easier to put it away in case we need it rather than consciously deciding to let it go. If we discovered our true purpose, we would know what to keep and what to let go.
During the second half of life we become increasingly aware of our age. Middle-aged people rarely volunteer their age, but as people progress into the second half and into the latter, they take pride in their age and share it as a badge of honor. During recent research interviews with people in the latter half of life, where I always save demographics for last, it’s rare that my interviewees don’t proudly tell me their age long before we get to the end of the interview. A business leader transitioning from a full-time job told me the other day, “I’m so busy. I don’t know how I’ve had time to go to work!” This former business leader is already living life on purpose. We cannot stop the years, but we can grow old with determination.
We are not all like that former business leader. Many of us struggle to find our way when these great upheavals occur in our lives. We feel too young to retire, but we don’t know where to look for new jobs or volunteer opportunities. We feel the loss of identity and the loss of direction. Exploring these interruptions and reflecting on other turning points in our lives provides a place from which to discover our purpose and begin to live the second half of life on purpose. Purposeful aging is a lot more fun than just getting old. Running towards our goals is much better than constantly running away.