As a former porn addict, I want to help you identify specific behaviors that might indicate you like it. I can’t guarantee this is a complete list or that it absolutely means he’s using, but they will help you notice behaviors.
Do you have a private computer that you can’t use? Sometimes you will have a private computer or laptop that you are very protective of. If you have a computer that you use for fun or a hobby and you don’t let anyone else use it, you could be hiding porn on it. This is sometimes confirmed if you use it in a private place, hide the screen and don’t like to share what you use the computer for.
Do you frequently stay up late on the computer after you go to bed? My dad once said that nothing good ever happens when you stay out past midnight. Anything done late at night on a computer is also generally not good. Try to see how much time he spends on the computer waiting or checking the Internet history. Ask him what he was doing and check it out. If he slips out of bed in the middle of the night, that’s bad news. I used to do this when I needed a porn fix.
Is your smartphone, iPod or iPad out of reach? Being overprotective with one of these devices may be a sign that you are hiding your porn use. These devices have history stored just like computers, but they are private devices to him. As something that is private to him, he will feel more comfortable not deleting history and might even bookmark or use apps that lead him to porn he likes. If he has nothing to hide, you could pick up the phone from him and he shouldn’t bat an eye.
Is he resisting your advances towards him to make love? I’m not one to reject my wife if she makes the first move. Usually the man makes the first move because he needs sex more than his wife. If her husband regularly turns her down for sex, it may be because she has spent herself. A man’s sexual appetite builds until he releases and then starts all over again from scratch. If he uses porn regularly, he won’t have any appetite left for you and he may interpret it as tired. If this is a frequent pattern I would be suspicious.
When you make love, does he suggest trying unusual or uncomfortable things? Porn teaches men that women love it when men do crazy things to them. Porn also teaches men that women are there to serve men. If her husband is forcing you to try new and unusual things that you don’t want, he may be learning them by watching porn. It’s okay to spice things up once in a while, but your biggest concern should be your feelings and your comfort.
There are other signs that your husband may be using pornography, but this list is not meant to be exhaustive. Reserved and suspicious behaviors, as described above, do not necessarily mean that she is definitely using porn. Use your best judgment and try not to jump to conclusions. If she falsely accuses him, their relationship could be damaged.
If he is in fact using porn, work with him to help him stop because it is damaging to his marriage.