“He who finds a wife finds something good,
and obtain favor from the LORD. ”
~ Proverbs 18:22 (NRSV)
The phrase “happy wife, happy life” comes from the Bollywood movie, Girlfriend and Prejudice (2004), and although it can easily be taken as a condescending offense against wives, there is another vital truth, in fact I believe it is biblical, behind that phrase: a truth that highlights the need for husbands to treat their wives as princesses.
Being a husband, for example, might seem like an impossible task: treating the love of your life like a princess, despite the negligence with which she treats him. But the gospel principle that resonates in the Bible is that we should serve our contemporaries as if we were serving God, without conditions. God takes care of the rest.
We could imagine what it would be like for a husband to sacrifice himself for his wife, particularly in the things he could do for her, the time he could give, and the affection in serving her as a princess who should be served. What would it look like?
Being royal, princesses are entitled to royal treatment, and with the privilege of royal position, honor always comes. She will never deviate from honor. No matter the circumstances, you owe him respect. (However, we husbands will never do perfectly well, but our intention is what is important.)
THE TRUTH ABOUT WIVES FOR HUSBANDS
Ask any single man this question: how beautiful is the woman he would like to marry? They will not be able to find satisfactory words to describe such a woman. They would do anything for her. Single men hate seeing married women treated roughly, disrespectfully, and neglected. They see an ingrate caring for his wife. Come to a coward.
Due to the phenomenon known as “man [white] privilege “Most women are at a disadvantage, not just physically, compared to men. As a result, most women learn to expect less than most men. This can be a difficult truth to accept. But the truth is that women are generally more virtuous and deserve greater respect (we could call it “love”) than most men are willing to give them.
I can say from personal experience that it has been difficult to learn the importance of treating my wife like a princess. Very often I have fallen into the trap of considering ourselves equal. But of course this is not entirely correct. Any man with daughters would agree. We want our girls, our women, to be treated in a special way; for good reason.
Men who do not treat their wives properly reflect an ungodly society, as do those who neglect the marginalized.
But the man who finds a wife finds something good, according to the Word of God. Find grace in the eyes of God. In a very similar proverb (Proverbs 8:35), whoever finds Wisdom finds grace in the eyes of God. When a man marries a woman, he is more blessed than he imagines, but he may not know it for years, if he ever does. We must pray that more husbands see God’s revelation on this matter and intend to be a true prince to their wives.
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When a man learns to treat his wife in a way that makes her happy, he has a happy life. This is a life that both she and he deserve. But a man must make his wife happy first. Take the initiative. That is your job.
© 2013 SJ Wickham.