“Mayor, we have a big problem on our hands,” Police Chief Bud Anderson told Mike Branden, mayor of Palm City, Florida, a small city of 200,000 old-fashioned Americans that sits in the middle of the Florida peninsula. It was a beautiful spring day in April.
Bud Anderson was a handsome man in his thirties, dark brown hair, blue eyes, a wide, calm mouth. He was wearing a light blue short-sleeved shirt and jeans. Mayor Mike Branden, also casually dressed, was in his late forties, tall and well built. He used to be an orange grower, his family going back generations in Palm City. He had a weather-beaten face, a strong mouth, and callused hands the size of gloves. He had just been elected mayor in November and won the election with his promise to clean up crime in the city.
In the last five years, the city had grown into a small Silicon Valley, with computer companies moving in droves because there were no corporate taxes in Florida or Palm City. The city was thriving, and newly wealthy computer millionaires and their stock option employees were building big, luxurious houses by the river. Money and big houses had attracted thieves. The city’s crime rate had skyrocketed, especially robberies and house rapes. Every woman in the city was scared and armed by the crime spree, and they wanted something done. Mayor Branden promised to do something about it.
“Bud, tell me what you think the problem is,” said Mike Branden. “Tell me what you think we can do.”
“Well Mike,” Bud Anderson said, “I think thieves and rapists have it too easy. They’re smart. They search the brand’s house carefully before breaking in. They only come in when they know the wife is home alone. But that’s not the real problem, Mike. “
“The real problem is that women are helpless. You may not know it, being as new as mayor, but about five years ago the previous mayor passed gun laws that made it illegal to have a gun in the home and illegal to use it. One against a thief. He also made it illegal for anyone to carry a concealed weapon outside the house. That’s when our problems started, Mayor. “
Mike Branden grew up with guns since he was a kid. He was a member of the National Rifle Association. He loved clay pigeon shooting and bought his sons their first rifles when they were eight years old. He taught them how to shoot straight and how to use a gun safely. His wife also owned a rifle and pistol, shared his love of clay pigeon shooting, and was a great marksman. Mayor Mike Branden hadn’t graduated from college, but he had guts, common sense, and imagination. He immediately saw the problem and the solution.
“Well, I think we’ll change those gun laws, Bud.” Thieves and rapists have it too easy around here. They know that they can rob houses and rape women without any risk.
Let’s return the risk. Let’s see what happens when they are shot if they enter a house or disturb one of our women. I’m sick of all the gun laws in this country, so let’s try a little experiment. I will convince the City Council to repeal our gun control laws. Next, I will convince them to pass a new law that requires every man and woman in Palm City to have a pistol or shotgun and know how to use it safely. I want a pistol and a shotgun in every home. I want every woman to walk around town with a gun hidden in her purse or under her dress. Let’s see what happens when we change the laws.
Let’s see what happens when we give victims a way to defend themselves.
I also want you to put a series of ads in the Palm City Gazette and Daily Press announcing the new laws, so everyone knows that all Palm City residents will soon be armed. I want you to organize weapons safety and training courses at local shooting ranges, so that we know that all the women in this city will be shot and killed. “
Bud Anderson’s eyes lit up with admiration for his new mayor. He had wanted to repeal those gun laws for the past five years, but never dreamed of the daring plan the new mayor now wanted to put into action.
“That’s a damn great idea, Mike. You’re going to be a great mayor. I think the citizens of this city are going to love you. They are going to have a great time learning how to use a gun again.” especially women. I know women will form gun clubs. They will probably want to buy designer guns with nice colors. Hell, I could even buy myself a .45 with a pearl handle. ”
Mike Branden laughed out loud at the youthful enthusiasm of his police chief. He said, “I think the new laws should be in place in about a month, Bud. Let’s meet again in about three months and you can tell me if we’ve had any success with the plan.”
Bud Anderson gave his mayor a mocking salute, said “yes sir” and walked out the door into the spring sun.
THREE MONTHS LATER:
It’s a hot July day in the mayor’s office and Police Chief Anderson and Mike Branden have an enthusiastic conversation.
“Mike, the mother of God made your plan work! Crime rates have dropped like a rock in Palm City. Robberies are down 80 percent. Rapes are down 90 percent. I’ve never seen anything like it. . It all started around two months ago, Mike. There was a gang of burglars that had been attacking most of the houses. Well, about ten of them have been shot, three killed in the last two months. As soon as the alarm goes off anti-theft, women took their guns out of their purses and started shooting. I’ve questioned some of the thieves we caught. They’re pretty stupid and don’t read much so they weren’t aware of the new gun laws. They thought that we were still operating under the old laws. You should have seen the shock on their faces. They were crazy as hell. They never expected young and pretty housewives to spray them with semi-automatic fire. They were mad as hell with ntigo “.
“Then there were the rapists who didn’t know about the new gun laws either, the ones who prayed for women at night in shopping mall parking lots. Already, five dead. They just approached the women, brazen, thinking they might get away with it like they used to. Then all of a sudden the girls pulled out their pretty pistols and started firing. You should hear how the women laughed with joy and pride when they told me their stories. They told me how grateful they were to have their Guns. I think every woman in this town wants you now, Mike. It’s lucky you’re already married. “
“I think the bad guys are getting an idea, Mike.” Thieves and rapists are rare in Palm City. In fact, I just got a call from Ben Radley, Hampton Bay Police Chief. They still have the same idiot gun … The laws of control we had here. They seem to have had a sharp increase in home burglaries and rapes there. It looks like our baddies are moving into easier terrain in Hampton Bay. I’m sure I feel sorry for the people of that city right now. Ben Radley really wants to talk to you. He wants to know how you cut crime so quickly in Palm City. Who knows, Mike, maybe what you did here will spread across the country. I hope so “.
“Another thing, Mike. All the teachers and principals in all the public schools in this city now carry a concealed weapon. All the children know it and now they feel really safe in school. They no longer care about one of their teenage friends. deranged who suddenly launch into shootings, like what happened at Columbine High School. If something happens, they know they don’t have to wait an hour for the police to arrive. They know the teachers and the principal can protect them. Did you know that the math and reading scores are going up in schools too? It’s the damn thing. “
“Mike, I think you are going to be mayor of this city for as long as you want. I hope you stay forever, because the people of Palm City are very grateful to you. At first they were a little skeptical about your plans. But now, after After they saw the results, they couldn’t be made to give up their guns anymore. We even got calls from newspapers, magazines, and television stations across the country. CNN wants to interview you, right? Did you know? They called me this morning. You’re becoming a celebrity, for God’s sake! ”
Mike Branden laughed out loud. “Me, an orange grower, a celebrity? Forget about the interviews, Bud. How about we go fishing this afternoon after work? It’s getting a little quiet around here, just the way I like it.”
Bud Anderson, smiling, reached out to shake Mike’s large, callused hand, because he now considered Mike Branden a good friend. That afternoon, they caught a dozen trout in Briar Creek Lake. It was a beautiful afternoon.