Almost everyone feels a longing for companionship. Sometimes we can understand this desire as a direction towards union with God, and at other times, as a desire for union with another person.
Two ideas come together in the material from the Edgar Cayce readings regarding the choice of a partner, particularly a life partner. First is the principle that we are here on earth for the purpose of growing and developing our consciousness. Furthermore, associations with some individuals are more growth-promoting than associations with others; therefore, it is prudent to choose our companions carefully. This principle is probably easy for us to accept if we simply reflect on the kinds of influence various friends and acquaintances have had on us in the past. The impact is most powerful in a marriage relationship, and a good union must be based on a shared purpose in life and the ability to help each other grow.
The second principle relates to reincarnation: we as spirit beings (or souls) experience our growth in consciousness through a series of lifetimes in physical human form. In other words, we have been to earth many times before and, more specifically, we have had close personal relationships with particular souls. Attraction to another person and thoughts of marriage could very likely be related to memory patterns (even subconscious memories!) of having been with that soul in the distant past. In the readings, Cayce suggests that we are often drawn to a particular person to marry in this life because of that relationship at least once before.
But if reincarnation is a fact, we might expect to have married many souls in the course of other incarnations. Which of these associations is the best to build now, in this lifetime? Does each person have exactly one other special soul that he should be with whenever possible?
Many sources of psychic information and other metaphysical teachings have proposed concepts such as “soul mate” and “twin soul.” Cayce’s readings, while at the same time raising some provocative questions, shed some light on this subject.
In the beginning, as has been outlined, those who came to be were presented as Sons of God, in that male and female were as one… Reading 364-7
A fundamental question is the very nature of the soul. Are you male or female? Both or neither? The readings propose that the soul itself is genderless.
However, in order to learn and grow, a soul enters the physical realm (characterized by polarities such as light/dark, positive/negative, thought/feeling, etc.) and chooses to incarnate in a masculine or feminine expression. Probably, in the long-term growth of the soul through many incarnations, masculine and feminine experiences are needed. Selecting one gender over the other in a particular life usually creates a condition where a balance or complement is needed, such as may be found in a marriage partner. This is not to say that significant spiritual growth is impossible during a life without marriage; rather, the marriage relationship is a great avenue for development.
Perhaps this pattern of growth has not always been the usual one. Some readings suggest that in ancient prehistory, such as the times of Atlantis over 12,000 years ago, a soul could incarnate in such a way that masculine and feminine qualities manifested simultaneously. It is not clear what form the physical body took in these cases. One person was told in a reading about an Atlantean incarnation: “for then both man and woman could be desired in one.” (288-27)
What, then, is a soul mate? Is it the soul that one has married in more incarnations? The frequency of marriage may be a factor because, according to Cayce, soulmate status is built from physical experiences shared over a long period. However, a more accurate understanding is this: a soul mate is a complement to oneself. One reading poetically describes it as “the tongue to the groove, the tenon to the shroud…” (1556-2) It is more than mere physical attraction; it is an ability to help each other on the physical, mental and spiritual levels.
Hugh Lynn Cayce, who was present at several of his father’s readings on this subject, offered another interpretation of the term “soul mates.” He wrote: “The idea of soul mates and affinities is closely related to the theory of reincarnation, as explained through the Edgar Cayce readings. Two souls can, in various incarnations, grow very close together in their pattern of spiritual evolution. These souls will need the help and assistance of others as they evolve and will therefore, in any incarnation, be closely bonded due to their many past associations and the intricate intertwining of their respective personalities.”
Status as soul mates is also a matter of ideals. An important passage said: “It can be said that those who have found an ideal in an experience are soul mates, and no marriage [are] made in heaven or by the Father, unless each one fulfills His commands.” (275-38)
These criteria suggest that one might have more than one solitary soul mate, although such a fact is not explicitly explained in any Cayce reading. However, we should certainly be cautious about leaving a current marriage partner simply because of his attraction to someone else. In all likelihood, the same problems and “opportunities” we are currently facing would be the same regardless of the partner we have in our lives; In relationships, most of the time we come to terms with those things that we need to work on in ourselves, even though we can sometimes think of our partner as the source of our frustration. Those who come across the idea of soul mates after they’ve been married can still be sure that their partner is, in fact, a “soul mate.”
For those who are single and would like to find their soul mate, what do the Cayce readings have to offer?
First, they suggest choosing someone who will help you have a “more useful, more supportive, more fulfilling life…” (364-7) In modern parlance, we could say that we are looking for someone who has the “right vibe” to we. In fact, this is a phrase that is used in the readings to describe the type of experience that can be felt between soul mates: “with the union of two who vibrate or respond to those vibrations in oneself…” (364- 7) Together, the two of you would help each other find a balanced life.
But even if we find someone who fits these criteria, someone who might be a soul mate, it doesn’t guarantee a good marriage. The two will still have to work together for the great potential of the relationship to blossom. This is what the readings seemed to suggest in the following question and answer exchange. We could assume that the question was, in effect, asking whether or not these two people were soul mates.
Q. Is this girl the type and quality of femininity that best suits this man for a successful life? A. It can be done so in each one. No one is exactly right at first, unless they were predestined through the ages of each other’s mating. (Reading 257-15)
The final statement is not clearly explained. We could understand that “foreordained” includes a choice made by the two souls before being born this time, or it can relate to very strong bonds built over many lifetimes of being married (ie “the mating of each”).
A concept similar to that of soul mates is “soul mates.” When Cayce used this term in the readings, he did not mean that two souls were identical. Instead, they are two souls that share a common purpose or ideal. They would not necessarily have had previous married incarnations. In other words, soulmatehood is largely built on the material plane of experience (although, as mentioned above, it has mental and spiritual components beyond sexual attraction). However, soul matehood evolves more from a community in the non-material realm, at the idea or ideal level.
An example of soul mates, according to the Cayce readings, is Jesus and His mother, Mary. One reading says: “In the beginning, Mary was the soul mate of the Master at the entrance to the earth!” (5749-8)
Finally, we might ask ourselves, “Where does this topic of soul mates and soul mates lead us? Is it our destiny to find and reunite with some other special soul?” That is not the point of view in the Cayce material. They refer to Jesus’ teaching that, in the kingdom of heaven, we are neither married nor given in marriage. As useful as marital relationships may be on earth, beyond this material domain, our destiny is to find fulfillment within our own souls. If one must think in terms of being destined for final union with some other soul, then think of that other soul as the Christ Soul. One reading made the point this way: “But know, the soul is rather the twin soul of universal consciousness than of an individual entity.” (2988-2)
The principle of soul mates and twin souls is therefore potentially useful and misleading. These concepts can help us understand some of the key factors in making a wise choice of spouse and can remind us that some relationships are huge reservoirs of love and support that can be awakened. However, these concepts can be misleading if we forget that our ultimate companion is Christ, or if we are tempted to let go of the responsibilities of relationships that we have already committed to in this life.