I just got back from a teachers retirement banquet in one of the great school districts in Southern California. I was invited to honor my friend who is retiring this year. While I was glad to be there, I was blessed beyond what I expected. Hearing the stories of teachers and principals who had influenced thousands of children in their 30+ years of service was refreshing to my heart. No one could have survived all those years of service simply for money! No one! Impossible! That was loud and clear in all the speeches. It was their vocational passion and quiet commitment that carried them through the daily grind; with the emotional moods of their students, their parents, the changes in educational strategies they face over the years, and the demands placed on them as community leaders. Amazing! Live life with a purpose!
As I was driving down the 405 freeway on the way home, my mind was flooded with memories of the teachers and people I’ve met over the years, people who built me up and people who built my children up. I am the result of so many people who have influenced my life in a positive way! From my amazing parents to teachers, professors, mentors, loyal friends, people in general, and most recently my four amazing children! I also thought of those who have tried to ruin my life! They were unsuccessful but instead helped me grow and see where I needed to build my life stronger and just improve!
When I got home I went to my file of quotes and interesting things that people and friends send me all the time and located a poem. No author was credited for the poem, but its simplicity made my point. It’s called “Builders and Demolishers.”
I saw them tear down a building,
A gang of men in a busy city.
With a ho, hehe, ho, and a lusty cry
They spun a beam and a wall collapsed.
I asked the foreman: “Are these men skilled?
Like the men you would hire if you had to build?
He laughed and replied, “No, actually.
Just regular work is all I need.
I can easily screw up in a day or two
What builders have taken years to do.”
I asked while I was leaving
Which of these roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder who works carefully,
Measure life with a ruler and square?
Or am I a destroyer who walks through the city?
Happy with the demolition job?
You see, it takes years, sweat, careful dedication, and a sense of purpose to build anything; intentionality is needed. On the other hand, it takes a moment to tear it apart! It takes vocational passion, a purpose, a heart, a committed mind, professional skills and experience to build people, a family, a marriage and institutions. It takes uneducated work, unbridled emotions, anger, anger, winds of toxic influence, drugs, alcohol, envy and “bulldozers” to destroy it! It takes consistent, dedicated love over time from a teacher to build a child’s confidence. It takes the destructive words of a bully to destroy the self-esteem of the same child. It takes years for a parent to love a child to maturity. It takes one irresponsible and devastating act from the same parent to destroy it all. It takes years and time to build anything, but it only takes a few days to destroy everything; sometimes it just takes one act!
“Am I a builder or a wrecker”, I told myself?
What do I do when I don’t get what I want? Do I see the challenge as an opportunity to build or destroy?
What do I do when my child does not respond to me with respect? Punishment or discipline? It doesn’t take a genius to reward good behavior or punish bad behavior. Anyone with minimal mental power can do that! It takes character to discipline a child.
What do I do when I love and my love is not reciprocated? Do I keep building that relationship or do I ruin it?
What do I do when someone tries to destroy my reputation? Do I build my inner life or ruin that person’s reputation?
What do I do when someone shines brighter than me? What do I do when that person gets what I’ve always wanted to get? Do I build that person up or do I come in with a “bulldozer” and tear down their sense of self worth?
What do I do when I meet someone who is clearly better than me at something? Do I build a relationship to learn from that person, or do I throw mud at them out of envy and an out-of-control competitive spirit?
I have it!
A builder sees challenges as windows of opportunity; the teachers who were honored at the retirement banquet tonight were builders. A builder dreams and plans a building before it exists! He builds with a purpose and wants to see his creation stand the test of time. A dismantler or wrecker sees problems in every solution and has nothing left after he is done. A wrecker destroys when someone is not “useful”; spoilers are consummate pragmatists! A wrecker’s favorite word is “NO!” because spoilers are negative thinkers and selfish to the bottom of their soul. A builder detects flaws and tries to do something to improve the situation; a dismantler sees problems and challenges in every solution.
I want to be a builder! And you?
“When you look back on your life, you will discover that the moments in which you have really lived are the moments in which you have done things in the spirit of love.” -Henry Drummond