Many companies’ employee handbooks have a code of conduct that outlines acceptable dress, phone use, and other rules. But many global teams work together on a daily basis without a common code of communication. This code is created by the team and agreed upon by everyone; could include response times (“I respond to emails within 48 hours”) or how to deal with issues (“I will deal with any issues in person or over the phone and within a day). Setting these standards as a group allows One of the key aspects of a code of communication between cultures is listening.
When I think of the keys to a successful global business, the obvious best practices jump out like trust, good communication, and teamwork. But somewhere, in a quiet corner, lies the most important and often ignored key listening.
Many of our connections with colleagues come in whispers, subtle but important messages that are easy to miss if we don’t listen carefully. Also, all forms of listening are not created equal. Sometimes we listen more passively, taking in what the other is saying and giving it our attention. At other times we actively listen, looking for what is not being said and reading between the lines.
People in some cultures find this distressing. Clients have told me, “I don’t want to have to figure all that out! I don’t have time. If someone can’t just come out and say something, that’s their problem.”
I certainly empathize with this frustration; the art of reading between the lines can be tricky, especially for those who prefer a more direct style. The best way to learn this skill is to see the benefit. Rarely have I taught a cross-cultural class where someone hasn’t said, “This will help me with my marriage or with my kids!” I also use my cultural background to really listen to my fiancé on a high level. We ask each other questions and consider all forms of communication.
No matter how direct or indirect you are, active listening always brings good results. Even people from direct cultures use nonverbal communication, subtlety, and other more indirect cues to get their message across. When you actively listen, you are much more likely to have successful communication with fewer misunderstandings.
Cultures that fall toward the more roundabout side of the spectrum include China, Japan, Korea, India, sub-Saharan Africa, parts of Latin America, and more. Much of the world communicates this way and it pays to be tuned in, especially in a business setting.
Now you may be wondering how you know if you are getting “hidden” messages from indirect cultures. You start out playing detective. Here are some things to do and look for:
–Start by raising your conscious listening to at least one level above your norm. When you are having a conversation with a friend from your own culture or background, you may be able to listen a little more passively because the cues are familiar and known. When you hear someone from another culture, tell yourself to be more alert.
–Broadens your spectrum of what “communication” is. For example, if someone doesn’t call you back in response to a favor you asked, is this communication? It could be. That person might feel it’s better to avoid a direct and embarrassing “no” by not calling them back.
–Watch for open-ended questions that seem to come out of nowhere. For example, his colleague suddenly says, “So, how did you like Mr. Smith’s new procedures?” They may have something to say, but they’re waiting for you to start the conversation.
–Beware of awkward body language in the other person. If you ask for a favor and get nervous, frowning, downcast, or other signs of discomfort, consider gracefully modifying your request.
–Listen for trailing off at the ends of sentences, hesitant tone of voice, and other vague responses.
–Ask leading questions to seek more information instead of open-ended questions.
–Keep in mind that people from indirect cultures may use third parties to communicate sensitive or difficult topics; in his opinion, this is another way to save yourself from the embarrassment of direct confrontation.
Active listening illuminates the colors of the world around you. When you pay more attention, you get more out of life and your relationships. In a business setting, especially in negotiations, listening can make or break the deal. I wish you the best in your search for cultural whispers.
© Vicki Flyer 2007 All rights reserved