So they broke up, they’ve been apart for a while and all of a sudden your ex starts sending signals again. Or maybe you’re looking to get back together with your ex boyfriend, and you want to know what signs he’ll give you when he starts to reconsider, and maybe even love you again.
Signs of interest from your ex boyfriend will come in many different ways. Some of them will be open, like your ex calling you to talk to you. Others can be a bit more subdued, like a seemingly innocent late-night text message.
There are behaviors to consider. Eye contact. Body language. It really gets confusing, especially when you’re afraid of reading too much into things because you’re trying not to get your hopes up.
But what do these signs mean? Which of these are bigger indicators that your ex is thinking about you again and which are smaller false signs that you can basically ignore?
Ultimately, you’ll want to be an expert at reading the biggest signs that he still loves you. Because knowing exactly when your ex is flirting, and when he’s not doing anything at all, can help you know when to act and when to wait.
Reversing any break requires moment. Just like in life, being in the right place at the right time, and doing all the right things, can mean the difference between fantastic success and disastrous failure.
Reading your ex boyfriend’s body language
Just as important as what your ex says is how they say it. Obviously, if he communicates with you by phone or text, you won’t have a chance to examine his body language. Goal in person? The way he stands, the way he leans toward you when he talks…those things are an important indication of his level of interest.
Does he touch your arm when he talks to you? Laughs a lot? This is obvious flirting. Yet here you are, his ex-girlfriend. So either he’s flirting with you to be cruel, or maybe he’s interested in you again… in one way or another.
On the contrary, is he leaning the other way when you talk to him? Does he seem distracted or does he look around, scanning the rest of the room during the conversation? These are signs that he is looking to escape. Especially revealing is when your ex boyfriend nods his head and says “yes” a lot. If he’s interested, he’ll engage you in what you’re saying and he’ll ask you questions so you can expand on it. If he’s not interested, he won’t.
Your ex is becoming very available
This is one of the biggest signs that your ex boyfriend might love you again. It will happen when he wants to meet you or talk to you, but he doesn’t want him to look like he did it on purpose. He will start appearing in your social circles. Hang out in places he knows you’ll be. He basically wants to see you, but he’s also playing dumb, like seeing you wasn’t his intention at all.
Some guys will do this to spy on their ex-girlfriends, and that’s okay. If he wants to find out what you’re doing or who you’re dating, it’s probably because he’s afraid you’ll meet someone else. This is a very good indication that your ex boyfriend still wants you “close” in case he changes his mind and wants you back. Otherwise, he wouldn’t care so much about what you were doing.
He texts you after a long period of no contact
When that text unexpectedly appears out of left field, it’s because you caught it at a vulnerable moment. Your ex misses you. And not just a little, but I miss you enough to reach out to you.
You’ve probably texted each other thousands of times, but no text message is as important as this one. While it doesn’t necessarily mean your boyfriend wants to get back together tomorrow, it’s a huge indication that you have some kind of influence over him, after all this time.
If he texts you like that, text him back. Keep it simple, keep it fast. Don’t get too involved, no matter what he says. Even if he tells you that he misses you, you have to keep your feelings in check by staying one step back from the level he is on.
Your ex starts talking to your friends (or family)
When this happens, your ex is checking a few things. First, he wants to know where he stands. Maybe he’s fishing to see if you’re still single, or you met someone else and are already dating him. Or maybe he’s just checking to see how you feel about the breakup.
You’re sad? Depressed? These things will show up. That’s why you always want to put your best game face on, even to family and friends, when it comes to how you’re handling the break. You want your ex boyfriend to hear things like, “Yeah, he’s doing great!” every time he talks to your friends. Not only will this make him a little jealous (that you’re having fun without him), but it will also make him start to wonder if letting you go was the right move.
Now if he’s talking to your family? That means a little more. It shows that your ex he still cares what his family thinks of him. And a guy would only care about this if, somewhere in his head, he still sees you again at some point in the future.
Your ex boyfriend asks you if you want to meet him
When does he really miss you? Your ex might ask to see you again. He will probably dismiss it as completely innocent; maybe coffee or something, or maybe he’ll make up some excuse to see you, like he has to pick up something he left at your house.
When this call comes, agree to meet him, but don’t be TOO available. You might want to reject the first suggested time/place with “Sorry, I’m busy that day” and then accept the alternative from him. Whatever you do, don’t question the motives. Just keep going.
Knowing him, you will want to let your ex do most of the talking. Hear what he says: he might even blurt out the real reason for the breakup (it’s not always what he said it was). Also, check out his body language. Look for signs of closeness and familiarity, because those signs will be great indicators that he is almost ready for a reconciliation.
Don’t butt in and don’t talk about anything heavy like the fight or whatever it was that led to the end of your relationship. Talk about trivial things, be cheerful and try to make him feel comfortable seeing you. Basically, it removes any discomfort. You want her to fall back into the familiar place she was when you were dating and completely safe with each other.