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Save trees, water and the world with bidets

Congratulations to you, the bidet user, because you have decided that saving water, saving trees, and saving toilet paper are things worth doing using your bidet! You might as well go to the costume shop and put a cape around your neck because you’re a fucking superhero!

If you haven’t bought a bidet yet, don’t worry, I’m sure your local costume shop has a good supply of superhero capes.

There has been more and more talk about what bidets are and how environmentally friendly they can be. If you’re eco-conscious or disappointed in using toilet paper, earn your cape by buying a bidet.

Let’s talk about trees first, those big green oxygen-producing machines! I’m not a hippie, but I’d say saving trees is a pretty big priority considering they make our AIR. What monster would want to destroy something so beautiful and use it to clean unspeakable from its crevice? I will remind you that dingle berries they are not found on any bushes or trees in nature.

So how is toilet paper made? Tree pulp is mixed with large amounts of water, chlorine, and other chemicals to produce the poopy napkins we call toilet paper. This process also requires large amounts of electricity to press, roll, and heat-dry the fanny packs.

A single roll of toilet paper requires 37 gallons of water, 1.3 kilowatt hours (KWh) of electricity, and about 1.5 pounds of wood pulp.

Those are just the stats per roll; the numbers seem much more daunting when compared to the use of the entire United States!

  • 36.5 billion tp rolls used annually
  • The average American uses 50 # of tp annually, or 57 squares per day
  • A family of four would need to purchase an 18 tp pack approximately every 18 days.
  • Such a family would need to shop tp 20 times a year at a total cost of $180
  • The production of TP requires that some 15 million trees be pulped annually.

If you want more toilet paper numbers, check out this article from Scientific American. Last time I checked, the scientists were pretty smart guys and should probably be listened to.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/earth-talks-bidets/

Ok, we understand that bidets are a forest friendly product and will save trees, but does this have an even bigger impact? Well yes, there are creatures on this planet that are not human, believe it or not. These creatures need trees as a habitat and food source for countless species around the world.

This means that the use of bidets actually combats deforestation. Do you already want to earn the cape?

Now, you might be thinking, “Well, the bidet uses water to clean you, that’s a waste!” I would add that a bidet uses less water, about ½ cup per use compared to the 37 gallons used to create the UNIQUE tp roll Not only that, but fabric bundles take up a LOT of shipping space on trucks for manufacturing and retail stores. Fewer toilet paper sales would mean far fewer trucks and trains contributing to carbon emissions.

It is true that bidets will never completely eliminate toilet paper despite using less water. Even with the most sophisticated bidets on the market, many users will feel comfortable taking a few squares of tissue to dry off. That’s fine, but we’d ask our superhero bidet users to consider the many eco-friendly toilet paper options that are popping up on the market.

Products like Whogivesacrap are one of many forest-friendly products that power renewable and natural waste cleanup products.

Now let’s go over a typical bathroom delivery scenario. You run your business, clean with the bidet, and grab a handful of paper for a solid 1-2 cleaning punch. You’ll find you only need to clean once instead of 3 or more times! How many of us were trained to go to the bathroom and basically keep wiping ourselves until the paper is clean? Using the bidet will save toilet paper and considerably reduce the amount you use in each trip to the bidet.

What if I told you that water cannot clog a toilet?

Let’s take this one step further to the RINSE. That wad of white blanket you just threw away is going to end up in your pipes and/or septic system. I love to fight for a plunger when I see the poo water rising towards the rim, don’t you? It’s simple, less toilet paper in your pipes or septic tanks means less clogs.

Think buying wet wipes or “flushable wipes” will make you immune to clogging and backups? I advise you to look for a picture of a fatberg. A fatberg is literally a huge block of paper, plastic and other unmentionables that stick together with the grease and oils that end up in the pipes. These things get to be the size of cars and weigh several tons!

Slightly different than what the Titanic sunk, these fatbergs are disgusting. Most importantly, they are 100% preventable and only made worse by using toilet paper!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/04/22/the-disgusting-ten-ton-fatberg-that-broke-a-london-sewer/?utm_term=.89e64a9fa9e7

This is an honorable salute to our caped heroes, with their buttocks firmly planted on their bidets, saving the world one squirt at a time. More than that, it’s a call to action for others to join their heroic ranks! Anyone can be a hero with a bidet!

The world needs more superheroes. Come earn your cape.

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