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Online dating: making the first date

One of the best things about using an online dating site is meeting lots of great singles from the comfort of your own home. Using chat or email, you can get an idea about a person and you can decide if you want to meet him or not.

The point of online dating is not to meet people and chat online, but to meet face-to-face with other quality singles you’d like to date.

Exchanging emails and chatting helps us determine the people we would like to meet in person. It’s a great tool for sifting through the different profiles on a dating site to find ones that we think are a good match.

How long do I have to wait before taking the step of a face-to-face meeting?

I think you should arrange a face-to-face meeting as quickly as possible.

Everyone moves at their own pace and you should be aware of everyone’s comfort levels. Make sure that in your excitement to meet someone you don’t push them out of their comfort level. This will kill a relationship before it starts.

Why so much urgency to meet face to face? Here are some reasons for you.

  • The first date is a blind date.

Regardless of how many emails and chats you exchange, it doesn’t take away from the fact that your first meeting is a blind date. Chemistry is a fun thing in relationships, and you can’t make it happen. Either you’ll have it with someone or you won’t. That’s the way it is. Why waste your time and effort meeting someone online if there is simply no physical attraction?

  • Don’t let your imagination dictate the relationship.

The longer you take to meet someone, the more preconceived notions you’ll develop about what they look like and how they’ll react. The Internet provides us all with anonymity and we can reply and respond at our own leisurely pace. Someone may come up with a brilliant answer to a question via email, but may not be able to carry on a conversation in person. These are things you’ll want to know before you get too involved with someone, because life is full of normal conversations.

  • Keep the initial meeting low key.

Go out for coffee or a lunch date. You’ll know pretty quickly if a person is someone you want to get to know a little better. Don’t spend a lot of time or money on a blind date only to find out there’s no spark.

  • Meet two or three times.

Once you’ve decided to meet someone face-to-face, you’ve officially left cyberspace and entered the real world. He follows the rules he would use in traditional dating, unless there’s no spark. Date someone at least two or three times before calling it off.

To give you an example, close friends of mine (Tom and Joan) had a disastrous first date. It involved Tom forgetting to bring his wallet, Tom accidentally locking the car keys in the car, and a five hour ordeal just to watch a movie.

A funny thing happened, Joan agreed to a second date and they are still happily married after 14 years. Through this series of mishaps, Tom and Joan had the opportunity to get to know each other a little better and saw firsthand how each responded to adversity.

Chemistry is the key to relationships, and good chemistry will outweigh a bad first date. Don’t write someone off just because the first impression wasn’t the best.

Once you’ve found someone online, try to meet them in person as quickly as possible. Get out of cyberspace and into the real world of dating. You’ll be glad you did.

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