Shelley called me crying from the hospital. Marcus, her husband of thirty-two years, had died that same night. His death was not unexpected: the cancer had spread throughout his body and three weeks ago Marcus entered hospice care. She had visited twice, giving the couple and their two adult children as much support as I could. And now, I was happy to support Shelley in this moment of her need, and kindly let her know that she shouldn’t feel guilty that Marcus had died when she and her children had left him for the hospital cafeteria. to dinner.
I feel so selfish,” she said, sobbing. “While we ate and laughed. Marc was dying, alone!”
“Shelley,” I said tenderly, “take a deep breath and tell me what happened.”
She and her children had been visiting and noticed that Marcus was a little quieter than usual. Sometimes he stared into space. Shelley sensed that her husband was worried about something and redoubled her efforts to cheer him up. Around five, he said that he was feeling better and told her and her children to come downstairs and eat something. “Don’t go hungry on my own,” she said.
Shelley chuckled into the phone. “How typical Marc. He never wanted to upset anyone.” Then she started crying again. “But I feel so… guilty!”
“I understand your feelings,” I told him. “But you have nothing to feel guilty about. Look at it this way: maybe Marcus asked you to leave because deep down he felt it was his time to turn to spirit. Maybe his soul just knew.”
I have carefully explained what I believe, based on what I have learned through my work as a medium. The moment of someone’s death and the transition to the afterlife is difficult for some people, because they feel trapped between the physical world and the spiritual world. On the one hand, your soul is preparing to meet the spirits of relatives who have passed away and are happy to see you, but you also feel attached to living friends and family who are sad to see you go. So instead of causing pain to loved ones left behind, the individual tries to arrange his own death, when no one is around.
“But I don’t understand,” Shelley said. “Why would Marc want to die?”
“No one wants to die,” I told her, trying to comfort her. “But her body was very weak. She was in pain and under constant sedation. Her choice was to remain here in pain or transition to a more peaceful realm, where her spirit would be free.”
“And he didn’t die alone, thinking we had abandoned him at his worst?”
“Not at all,” I told her, and told her what had happened with the passing of my mentor, Sadie, who was like a surrogate mother to me. As the time of Sadie’s death neared, he phoned to say that her mother, her siblings, and other spirit family members were visiting her and preparing a place for her in the other world. . This encouraged her immensely.
Shelley seemed encouraged by my words. However, she asked, “Are you sure this is what happened to Marc?”
He was about to tell Shelley that he believed that with all his heart. But I remembered that Shelley was a friend, not a client, and she was comfortable with her religious beliefs. What she was telling him was probably not easy to digest for someone whose spiritual ideas were different from mine.
“I feel like it’s true,” I said, “but until it’s our time to go home, we really won’t know for sure.”
“And you think…” Shelley struggled with her words. “Do you think…when it’s my time to…you know…Marc will be there to help me…to heaven?”
“I’m sure of it,” I promised him. “I know that for sure.”
“Thank you,” he said softly. We talked for a few more minutes and then she hung up. He wanted very much to tell her that when he was ready, Marcus would visit her wife here on the earth plane and continue to care for her and her children. But, like I said, Shelley was comfortable with her religious beliefs and I wasn’t going to impose my philosophy on hers. But I tactfully let her know that if she started dreaming about Marcus, or if she started finding pennies in her house, or she caught her presence out of the corner of her eye, well, she could call me for a chat. any moment.
If you have any questions or comments on this topic or any other spiritual matter, please write to me at [email protected]. And please visit me again!