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Menopause! Does it have to be hot, emotional and crazy?

Oh, the wonderful time of menopause! Does it have to be a hot, emotional and somewhat crazy time in life for a middle-aged woman? Being middle-aged is bad enough, suddenly all the joys of our youth are gone. Wrinkles start to break out in the once firm skin, bits start to sag in unusual places, and suddenly you realize the global warming everyone is talking about. Only global warming isn’t happening in the atmosphere, it’s happening right where you are, in your own space!

So to answer the question, does it have to be exciting, emotional and crazy? Well, yes, more or less, but with a little understanding, you can survive this passing part of your life, you can glide through it and end up a much better woman for the experience.

Oh sure, you say, but have you been through it? The answer to that question is yes, it’s over and I’m still smiling, still married and looking forward to the next thirty or more productive years ahead of me.

So how did I do without committing murder, becoming a witch, or jumping off the nearest bridge?

Perseverance above all, I made the decision that I was not going to let something that is a natural process of becoming a mature woman get the best of me. It was easy? Of course not! It was actually downright frustrating, maddening at times, and Dad would get hot.

The hot flashes, hot flashes or whatever you want to call them were quite irritating and embarrassing. Especially if you have two teenage daughters who enjoyed watching you suffer. They loved watching the car windows fog up on my side of the car on a cool morning when a hot flash was in progress. And I won’t even go into the number of hours I spend reading adjusting the sheets on my side of the bed when trying to get a good night’s sleep.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many commercials I’ve seen that made me cry for no reason. Or the fact that a kind word would make me cry with happiness, but the wrong word would turn me into the wicked witch of the north. Oh! Those were such interesting times.

So, you see, it wasn’t all happy times and fun games, it really was a time to learn about myself and cope with a situation that I really had no physical control over.

How did I do it and still keep my family’s life more or less intact, along with my own well-being?

First of all, taking a deep breath and knowing that this was not forever! Realizing that this was an active part of growing up, yes, even middle-aged women get a chance to grow up and decide what they’re going to be, when they really grow up.

The “life change” or “rite of passage” as some choose to call it, is a sign of growth. We left behind those parts of us that defined us as “younger women” and took some time to realize that we really are strong, full of self-esteem and growing in wisdom with each passing day.

The lives most of us lead as wives, mothers, working women, and homemakers is so hectic that we rarely take the time to even think about a moment for ourselves. In the scheme of a busy day, having some private time for a normal constitutional morning is considered prime time and many of us consider ourselves lucky if we have that.

So how are we supposed to deal with this particular time in our lives when our bodies seem to be out of control and the turbulence we feel inside creates a panic we’re not sure how to handle?

It is said that about 15 percent of us go through this period of change without any problems, but the rest suffer from mood swings, hot flashes, weight gain, insomnia, crying, and other changes.

Many of our doctors recommend Hormone Replacement Therapy; estrogen is the most commonly prescribed drug in pill form. This treatment is not without risk and should be considered only with much thought, discussion, and research on your part. I personally journeyed through my experience of change by facing the challenges of each day and moving forward without the aid of medication.

Each person has to think for themselves, since there are other alternatives that they can follow. For me, the knowledge of a possible risk of endometrial cancer, gallbladder disease, and blood clots that can cause stroke, heart attack, or pulmonary embolism was enough to keep me away from HRT. I am not recommending anyone to follow my way of thinking, as it is important that you listen to your body.

I have a philosophy that serves me well and I am going to offer it to you, so that you can use it with discretion of course. I know my body better than anyone, including my doctor, and I listen to what it tells me. Listening to what he tells me, instinctively I have been able to stay pretty healthy and drug free.

One of the main concerns when going through this thing called change is osteoporosis. As we age, our bone density becomes thinner and more brittle; we Americans seem more prone to it than our other sisters.

Because? It is mostly due to genetics, lifestyle, diet and our overall health. Exercise is one of the most important things we can do for our bodies, not only in terms of weight control, but also to prevent osteoporosis. Walking and other weight-bearing exercises will do wonders for your bones and your mood. Activity during the menopausal years can help you manage your mood swings, I’m not suggesting strenuous exercise, but in moderation, just walking around the block and taking a few minutes to yourself will do wonders for your mood.

Yoga is great for those who want it, acupuncture has helped many to reduce hot flashes, quitting smoking has helped some, and cutting back on alcohol has helped others.

However, I think the best thing you can do for yourself is take some time to nurture yourself. I once read a quote that said, “Menopause is a metamorphosis, like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. The caterpillar needs a cocoon and so do you.”

During this time of growth, you owe it to yourself to go to your cocoon, your cave, or a special place and lock yourself away. The kids have grown up, you’ve spent most of your life nurturing your growing family, taking care of their needs and wants, and now it’s time to reverse the role and take care of yourself.

By doing this, you will benefit yourself, your family, and maybe even your job. It is during this time of growth that our abilities and senses are heightened and we become more open to inner guidance, inspiration, and illumination. But just, if we give ourselves time alone, to be free of responsibility, even if it’s just for a short hour, we owe it to ourselves and to the person we’re becoming.

The good news about this system of change that we are forced to go through is that within two to five years it will all be gone and we have gotten a little bit older and a lot wiser. In the meantime, if we so desire, there are many natural menopause treatments, herbs are known to help, such as black cohosh, red clover extract, ground flaxseed, vitamin E is also helpful. With the benefit of the Internet, there are endless sources of information about menopause.

But the most important thing we can do for ourselves is to learn to relax, to go with the flow, to let the little things slide off our backs, to smile more, and to stay near an air conditioning vent.

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