How often do we hear people say that they never find someone suitable to date? No matter how hard they try, they regularly check online dating sites, accept invitations from friends, join various groups, they never seem to find anyone they really fit in with. Is something else going on or are they really ready, available to date, and just unlucky in their search?
If this is you, what needs to happen to make it available to date?
– Works It can impose many demands and distractions for us to be available up to date. Being tired, worried, or overly committed can mean that we have little free time or energy to enthusiastically make the effort to look attractive and be receptive to someone else’s charms. Preparing to meet someone new takes a certain amount of effort, time, and money, and there isn’t always much left if we are immersed in business demands, deadlines, and family concerns.
We may not even be sure how free we will be to wholeheartedly pursue a new relationship in the weeks and months to come. Working long hours or being away from home regularly can curb our desire to date. We are already so busy that even thinking about the first few days of a new relationship can seem like too much effort to bother us. However, building a business or a career is often done with an eye on our future expectations, wanting to settle down with a partner, have a family, build a house together.
Taking care to find a better balance in life often incorporates a mindset shift in which we include all areas of life and are available to date.
– Friends They know us well and may insist that they really want to see us settled and loved in a great new relationship, but is that really the case? Are you sure that deep down they agree with the change in the existing dynamic of your friendship, where your time and loyalty may begin to be influenced by the need to consider another person?
You may notice a change in their behavior as they start to need you more, or become negative or critical of any potential new suitors. Pay attention to that happening and try to discuss how you both feel. Make sure they will always be important, and determine to maintain regular contact, even if it sometimes has to be done over the phone or online.
– Family It can be interesting, especially if you are very close to your siblings or parents. Siblings may feel jealous at the prospect of their brother or sister going out, especially if they have shared a lot, perhaps helped each other through difficult times, survived a breakup, and spent many hours together sharing confidences and advice, checking back regularly. . base.
– Daughters and moms. Girls often say that their mother is their best friend, they call each other every day, they talk about everything. But there is a saying, give your children roots to grow and wings to fly. Some mothers struggle with letting go and are too dependent on their daughters for company. They can be possessive, loath to lose their intense closeness with a new third party.
If a mother refuses to let go, she can speak to the possibility of a flourishing new relationship for her daughter. Often in a position of influence, you can always be present with money, treats, internal knowledge of which buttons to press. She can call regularly, constantly available to help and support at any time. How can a potential new relationship compete with such an intimate and long-established bond?
– Children and parents They are also usually great companions, they share hobbies and interests, perhaps they spend hours together for a common love for sports, cars, etc. Some can work together and be best friends. A new girlfriend can be a major intrusion on the amount of time you generally choose to spend together. As with mothers and daughters, it can be difficult to separate if the father is reluctant to step back and decides to stand firm with guilt, loyalty, or the ‘why bother with him or her’ card.
If you have begun to realize how much you are struggling to be available to date, accept that the change must come from you. You need to determine what is happening or what is going wrong. Any new relationship takes effort, commitment, and can sometimes feel like hard work.
If you ultimately want to settle down, maybe find a lifelong partner, maybe start a family, some things may have to change. Being more assertive and assertive with some of your existing relationships may be a step you need to take. You must be prepared to do whatever it takes to be mentally, physically, and emotionally ready to meet someone who can satisfy you and meet the needs of your relationship. Then you will be available to date!