Women often ask me: “Why do men want orgasm denial?“and,”I feel sorry for him when he says he wants to orgasm; That I have to do?“, Or something like that.
And I can’t stress this point enough: you’re not your man. You’ll probably never begin to understand why he wants orgasm denial so bad.
Conversely, if you are a man reading this, then you must understand that your woman will probably never fully understand what you get out of it.
And this is all perfectly fine as long as they both know the man is getting pleasure from it, and the woman, even when she denies it in the extreme, is giving him what she wants (assuming she’s laid down her ground rules and they’re not Be broken).
Well… if you start to feel sorry for him or (as a man, feel sorry for yourself) remember that he asked you to.
I know how this all feels because it’s the same for me. Over time though I have come to understand more what all of this means to John.
He wants the orgasm as something fleeting; but he craves denial in the long run. This is how it works with most men. And when they’re begging with their blue balls, they really mean it.
But if you don’t give up, he’ll thank you, I promise. Don’t feel sorry for him: he’s getting what he wants, and that’s more than most people in the world ever get.
I know from John that the feeling of wanting to come all the time is amazing for them. Yes, when you’re making love at the time it can be a bit awkward, but it soon passes. Instead of feeling sorry for him, try empathy: share his feelings without taking responsibility for them or making them better.
Here’s one thing you can do: if he starts begging and complaining, leave the keys next to him and say something like: “Well, if you want to, you can unlock yourself now and give yourself an orgasm. Is that what you want?“.
Return the decision to him.
The important things here are:
- Do not get angry or show that you are disappointed.. Or if you’re a man, try not to sulk. She’s just doing what you asked her to do!
- Don’t make him orgasm. If he wants to come before you’re ready to do it for him, he has to do it himself, without any help or encouragement from you. He may even want to leave the room while he does (or doesn’t, as the case may be). Don’t even get involved in re-locking him up. Just tell him to give you the keys when he’s done.
I guess if you do this once or twice it will soon stop doing it.
I strongly suspect that he won’t even make himself come the first time. He wants you to be in control: the moment he basically stops playing, if he doesn’t stick to the “rules” he will stop trying to break them.
Another thing you can do (as I have done with my husband, John, on occasion) is to tell him that he can come with you, but while you won’t stop him and you will enjoy it immensely, you will punish him severely for it. . John knows full well that the penalty for orgasming without my permission is a severe beating or a night kneeling at his post while I sleep.
The other thing, if you miss it dripping inside you, I totally understand that too. It may be that you both need to agree on a period of time, something that is long enough for him and not too long for him.
It has to work for both of us, remember?
Now, if you’re looking for safe, sane, and realistic male chastity lifestyle information and advice, be careful where you look. The internet is full of fancy blogs selling silly and even harmful advice, and it’s easy to get caught up in the silliness.
So if you want a measured approach to male chastity…